ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize