My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
