Will you blow on my dice?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
