We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
