we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
