did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
