hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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