Swine flu. Run for my life!
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
