I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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