Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
