his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I think pants incapable of making pants work
YAS. BRING CRAB.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
