Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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