I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
She's the barista slut.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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