College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
