You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
