I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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