We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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