i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
NoShamevember. You game?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
