ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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