Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
