so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
