My first STD was from a foam party
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
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