Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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