Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
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