omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize