last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
