we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Boobs speak an international language.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
