Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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