i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
