I feel like abortions should bother me more
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
