ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
