Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
