Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Dick very happy bro
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
