im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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