He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
