Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
