is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
