Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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