32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize