just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
