Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
