There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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