It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
