So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
