She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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