just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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