it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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