from now on my penis is your penis
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
