this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
