Taylor Swift is so right about you.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
