Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Boobs are out for the taking
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
