She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
