I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
two words...techno handjob
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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