ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
