Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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