I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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