one two three fourrrrnication!
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
