I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
