It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Randomize
