Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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