ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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