Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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