I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize