I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
