TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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