How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
