are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
