If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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