2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Life is so much better after having sex.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
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