You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
