Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
My butt remains clenched, sir.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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