i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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