im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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