Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
