shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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