Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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